aiyan downright.

Its been just too long! I didn’t really have the time to blog or do stuffs in friendster like update anything, reasons are, that I was just too busy with the exams and I have a new blog! www.itsallaboutonegirl.blogspot.com. I thought that that blog was much nicer, since it can change skins and stuffs, but I don’t want to lose touch with those people in friendster! So here I am, at my bedroom with a very comfortable laptop, typing this thing!

Well, lots happened at the past half-a-year, where should I start? I got into a class, 4S3, which is nice now, wasn’t that nice at first, because I didn’t know too many people there and they were all so called nerds, that study 24 hours a day, that was all on first impression basis, now we’re all fine together, laughing with jokes, and we know that who’s good and who’s bad in class.

Well, as for my social life, it’s going down the drain, I don’t know! Nowadays I just mix with people around me, like Helena, suchen, Winnie, Syl, Careen and Chooi Yin, I think that they trust me and vice versa so we just hang together, other than that, I don’t think my life’s so great like the pass year. I personally wonder what the hell did I do to deserve those attention last year, but now, all I’m left is with an empty nutshell, I used to mix with those of the lower forms, but because of the whole recess thing, and PMR so we don’t really get to hang out. And as for those of higher forms, I don’t mix with them, I don’t know why, maybe it’s because that  they hate me. Or not. That I don’t know.

But, some people whom I know, just don’t seem to know me anymore. Everytime when we walk next to each other, we ignore each other totally, that totally sucks you know. I mean, I’m not desperate to have friends, but then, on the other hand, you KNOW that person and she knows you, but then, ignoring totally. That doesn’t seem to fit.

And as for studies, don’t need to say, I so suck at it, I don’t cope with them and I just don’t have the time to study. Well, not really. It’s just that I DON’T want to, that’s all. And near exams, I’ll rush like shit and I don’t know why, I just seem to fail everything, maybe it wasn’t such a good option going into science stream . After all, my ambition aint those doctors or whatsoever.

Talking about ambition, I want to be a performer, singer or pianist, any one, I wanted people to know, that I can sing, but then my family keeps on pestering me to take up Law, Medicine or whatever shit there is to make money. I want to do something I want, I want to sing in front of a stage where people shouts my name, is that so hard to realize? I want to make loads of money, and I want people to remember me when I’m dead.

Well, this past year, I did a lot of club activities, as usual the Squash MSSS, I got third this year, same as the last, I hope next year I can score a better one, when I’m leading. I need to prove to people that I’m a person who have something inside and not anything. And I’m a newbie to Lembaga Maintenance, LM for short, I love that club a lot, I want to do stuffs for them, but everytime there’s an opportunity, I seem to not grasp it, I tend to slack and not do anything. There are so many capable people in there, so they don’t really need me, all I have to do is to present myself in every meeting to get marks. That’s fair enough.

My Love Life.

Ok that was a weird phrase to start with, but then, this whole year, or make it half, was just about one guy, one guy whom brought me to try things which I never tried before nor dared to try, one guy whom I broke his heart terribly, from what I heard today. One guy, I loved so much just like my passion towards music. It’s so funny how one relationship which lasted for 8 months just ended up like that, just yesterday. I’m still grieving on it, but I didn’t cry a

LOT

. It was just the stupid song from Elliot Yamin, I’ll Wait For You and Avril’s When You’re Gone made me tear, just a little bit, I think maybe 2 pieces of tissue. Hardly used. That’s all. I hope that we could still be friends, but then, hopes of seeing him ever again is like, none.

Well I’m sorry for the long post, but once you type, you just cant get your hands off the keyboard. And it’s the perfect thing to do to waste time!

I had not many ups and downs this year, make that half a year. I have a very boring routine to follow every week, it’s getting really boring and I’m desperate to leave it, the sooner the better. But I know that when it’s time for me to graduate, I will regret what I just stated. \

i think that now, all I have to look forward to school is that, the mood and atmosphere. I like sitting alone in a corner and think about life, I prefer doing that than chit chatting all day long like what I do right now. And finally, one last word, I miss my past life.

心很酸 。。 难道六个月的爱情，就可以这样的，以一声拜拜。 就结束了吗 ？ 自己，是否作了一个对的决定。看着他悲伤的眼神， 心里有通了几下。我可以的，我可以在最短的时间内把一切的伤痛，统统都忘掉。我失去了名誉，也失去了爱情。为了他， 为了大家的好，我决定了，推出这一各残酷的游戏。 

好啦，我今天，除了这一些超级衰的事情，也有好的，我以前喜欢的人回来啦！他们真的便道很厉害 我的心又想起了去年的我，是真麽样去面对大众。

我想，可能我太需要注目了。我恨不得把这一些想法，统统忘掉。把成绩搞好。。。

i’m back. i LOST my dear diary. and so i have to type this all out based on memory >~< the LM camp DAY 1 ok, so , i was anticipating this day, it seems like forever, wanting it to come. when i reached school, lots of people were already there, waiting and packing up stuffs. we were late and so Kay Chong ( KC) asked us to run 5 rounds around the assembly ground, and then, some people didnt have thier name tags, so they had to run additional 3 rounds. and that includes me! i mean. that’s really a tough thingy to run. and then we had a briefing from wan ning and a spot check. to see whether there were any so-called barang larangan that we smuggle. bread also cannot bring weyh !

then, we headed off, WN asked us to get ready for a sketch due to happen on the second day. impromptu , the dialogs. we thought of the story line and just thought about our song and tepukan.

when we reached there, at the bus stop, the firey sun was showering it’s rays on dear little aiyan. and my head was burning hot. after unloading our luggage, Chun Yan ( CY) asked us to RUN UP TO THE RESORT and my head went like, WHAT THE HELL> RUN UP THAT STUPID SLOPE?~! and CY went sprinting off. i didnt know he could run. and his legs are like, so straight and strong. gawd. and it took forever to run up that stupid hill and my heart was pumping like crazy.

so i had to like chill myself. and some kind ahem committees were kind enough to encourage me and pushed me up. after that we had the bag passing thing. our campsite was SO HIGH UP and the stairs were OH SO STEEP and we had to line in one line and passed up those luggage. man were they heavy. who would bring big bricks to camping? i know i wont. i think it’s really. heavy. period.

we didnt have the chance to actually rest. immediatly we started setting up the tents. and they keep blowing the whistle. everytime they blow, we need to like, emmerge from everything we’re doing and run to them. it’s really tiring.

Lets see, what happened next ? i think it’s cooking. wait. no. it’s the what ah! wait wiat. I REMEMBER, we had talentime! that’s something where we act something out, which connects with our own team’s motto. so we as the fireflies, acted a drama, which was preety good actuall, but all the commitees did were sarcastic comments, which well, i think their aim was to toughen up our weak souls. got scolded preety badly. but anyhow, we had something else after that.

i THINK we had the cooking competition after that, we were all hungry. we did mee hoon, which was quite nice, at least, according to the commitees we were better than the others, the results never did quite reveal. kin wai was basically shouting at everyone. he has his mood swings, and when we served our mee hoon, the teachers said it wasnt BAD. but did NOT stated that it was good or whatsoever

. i forgot what we did next.

i have a bad memory

we had the sketch after that, i assume ok. so the sketch. NO WE DIDNT HAVE THE SKETCH> WE HAD SOMETHING ELSE> yeah. we headed to public speaking after that, czi xian gave us a topic every 2 minutes and we had to talk out there impromptu. i didnt know what i was rambling about half the time there. and my teammates kept on buggering me for more imfomation. i reluctantly gave it to them, i mean, she said that no sharing of infomation is allowed.

blah blah after that, we headed to the night trekking/Minesweeper/ Minigames. before that, we were all gathered at Dewan Patin there, and had a briefing about what NOT TO DO IN THE FOREST. i mean, we cant call each other’s name and all. it sounded really scary . the way the ajk’s said. and basically we were following aaron, and he said that we CANT look behind or tap each other’s shoulder while doing the night trekking.

so, we were off, we went in group by group. it was not our group who went in first, so we did the minesweeping game. basically it was like this, it’s a maze in aw ay, and all of us are blindfolded, we must listen to the head’s instruction whether to turn left or right or step back or do whatsoever.

he’s so BLUR. and he’s weird. that’s all i can say. so after this ,we went night trekking. it was REALLY SCARY. who the hell would go night trekking? it’s like, you can go in the morning, where the sun smiles down on you. but then, ont he other hand, maybe they want to train our guts. so we walked through the jungle through a raphia string or how you spell it. scary? totally. t

hen the mini games was all mathematics, they give you an equation from the back and pass it upfront and uhave to solove it. i dont get the logic in that, but i still played on. LALA we went back to our campsite at about 2 am so heard. because we didnt had a clock. rumoured so lah. and i went to bed. not wanting to think that a ghost will come and grab me away/. -

DAY ONE END -