aiyan downright.

in another lets say, 6 more days, i will be roaming the malls, conquering them, walking into everyshop to check out all those things that i’ve missed throughout the year. giving myself a self pleasure after all those hard work i have done, and of course, its like studied for so hard, give myself a treat lah !

i’ve already laid out my whole october plan, the first day, d monday, i’ll be playing squash one whole day ! u dont know how much i miss squashi ! i miss walking around without books. i miss the days where i dont have to burry myself to sleep. and all of this, for sure, i’m NOT GOING TO REMEMBER !

but for now, its all about studying and working hard. although my ambition doenst have anything to do with studies, but must gambateh ! winks.

to all mah dear friends, best of luck ! love ya !

now i know that it wasnt siti herself calling herself a slut, it was a guy. whom actually, is really immature in a way, i mean, break up then breaup-lah, you dont need to stalk someone and go around telling people that you are the one that’s breaking up with her. get a life. she ditched you. and oh well. its really juvenile of you to do stuffs like this. and you know who you are. i thought you were a good kiddo too., but it turned out wrong. time can tell everything..

ok. so that was a thingy to SOMEONE who did SOMETHING and i hope that he’s ok right now. not to be harsh but you really did a wrong thing. get it?

next, about aiyan, back to aiyan and her wacky thingys.

today, aiyan’s friends finally had the guts to come back and face me. after 3 dyas of absence. i missed them like hell. the first four periods were like so quiet, everyone was doing self study.t his i have to stress. u know, jia yi and her god damned gang were making so many noises in class, like wanting people to know their presence. shouting things like : did u miss me? gawd. such a attention-seeker.

and during recess, ate with siti and catched up with all the current happenings on her and her ex. and talked like hell. missed her so much.like DUH. then after recess, we had to go to the bookshopt o print those sejarah trials paper and blah. when i was done, he came down to like print something. normal, the i-dont-know-you attitude. i mean, friends pun tak boleh ke?

then after school, ct was suppose to meet shanmugan for the bear her ex is like giving her back everything. i think they’re done for good. then i saw hw and dc walking down, i went like running away i think, then i told siti, catch up with you later, then she looked to her left and say ok. then i looked left, and tch was THERE. right in front, and i dashed down the slope, then when i got back up again, hao wei and dc were at the same spot where tch was standing, then i ran to the flag post there to avoid embarresment. then the stupid dc came down, walked to me and started asking me a lot of stuffs and we talked, 3 people stood there, me dc and hw, but me and dc did the talking, he was the silencier. then ding chao asked me whether there’s going to be a squash trip, i went like, oh gosh, i really hope there’s going to be one and blah blah blah.

i’m still wondering, why wont he talk. is he like a mute or somehting,

and one more thing. a breakup means breaking up with someone. you dont stalk them if the break up with you, you dont call them a slut if they break up with u, u just think about it and try to go one with your god damned life. get it?

now even i can tell that i confused my feelings with the truth. and dreams are just meant for sleeping, wishes on a star just wont come true.

theres my day.

ok, maybe not. when i was fiddling with my god damned pimpled tounge today, i complained about it to tien yi and she went like, aiyan, you frenched? i was like, no.. its the stupid pimpled tounge. its not getting any better really. today, was another one of those oh-so-lonely days. i PLANNED to skip school today, my dad and mom gave me THE PERMISSION, but i was just to stupid coz i didnt want to stay at home alone and i think i couldnt like resist the sedution of my lovely little computer. so i went to school. my mom was like saying things like : how can you be so flicker minded and BLAH. gosh…

the classes were great. i sat there by the window, looking out to the green and beautiful sports centre, i didnt know and didnt even notice that our school, in this case my school, is like so big and empty, it looks grand outside, but in the inside, its just an empty nutshell, a place where all those emo people like me go.

well. actually, that was CRAP. i  look outside coz of the grasses, someone had PJK =D=D=D=D=D
wakaka~! i’m like crazy aye. but apart from two periods of gazing and looking, there was no excitement for the day. none.

apart from the whole thingy, i really cant recall anything that happened really. and to dearest siti, you are so not a slut. at least iknow that you’re alive and not dead.

U KNOW WHAT? I SAW HER PHONE, W800I, AND GUESS WHAT? SHE ACTUALLY HAS TCC’S PICTURE IN IT, WITH HIM LAUGHING. when i first saw it , i went wth, she’s like so reluctant to admit. but duh. i KNOW. i’m not that LOW. my iq standard is low, but not THAT low. then when i asked her the question today, she went like, i’ll never like him. i went like, oh, but dear lady, your actions show it all. ironically, she said that whoever that likes him has such nice taste and blah blha. i was thinkig. ok, maybe i dont know tcc, maybe its just like, she knows him better then i do, so i dont have any thing to judge on. but through those brief talks, i can tell that he’s ok-lah. beh says that he was urhm, what do you call, blur ….

and beh rong cheng, dont think i didnt know it was you who screamed my name so loud this morning at school. i can reconize your god damned voice anywhere.

then then, the whole day, there wasnt any teaching, but there was a lot of running around for me. dont kow why, and yeah. the i-think-he’s-cute guy, when i was in b4, i wanted to sit next to jj, then he was there. i was like, heck. here goes. then he started poking me and i went like, give me a break weyh. and he started to like say loads of cute stuff. he sits at the back of me in kasturi. although we didnt like formally introduce each other, we;re like friends. wierd in a way..

then what else happened? oh right. after school, when i was at the bus stop talking to samuel, it has just been 3 years since we talked after primary. i missed him SO MUCH. then we were sitting at the bridge, this teacher wanted to pass and there were so freakin many bags there, then HE WAS AT THE BACK. iw as shocked at first. and he GAVE ME THAT STUPID SMIRK. gosh. he stays in old town. ahah. ok. i know that was so unimportant.

lets go to the boring part… my pmr is like in 108 hours. thanks to xiao hui for keeping track of thiese not so important things. and i want to skip school. but i dont want to. so tomorrow i’m like going? DONT KNOW !!! at school is SO BORING. there’s NOTHING you can actually do there. =[. my two besties are like lost. and i’m alone at school. really. but it feels good.

today i was left ALL ALONE because my two best friends didnt come =[. its so not fair they get to skip school, while my parents dont let me, wait, i'm not going on thursday and friday +D. anyways. today. met BEH RONG CHENG and he kept on hinting me what day was last saturday, i REALLY FORGOT that it was HIS BIRTHDAY. completely lost it. so, dearest beh, if you're reading this, you are my best-est guy friend and one whom understand me real well. love ya ! happy belated birthdas =]

ok. back to muah

i still cant figure out accounts. i dont get it. even after the not-so-brief explanation of pn. choo, i dont get kunci kira kira and akaun perdagangan. maybe accounts is just so not my blood. and pmr is what? 3 more days? or more. i think. i’m in 5S7!!!! as in, the class, sitting by the window. shit. the geography thing was HELL BORING. we were so DAMN HUNGRY. they only let us have out god damned recess at 11.30. bastards.. .

ding chao : eh aiyan (point point ) your geography thing they got give any notes anot?
aiyan : what notes? no-lah, they just give some erh, neh… pass year exam question
ding chao : oh, then never-mind LAH,

its so manglish. really. god knows what he wants with those geo thingy. he doesnt even take geo.

a gal whom is SO SICK of the STUPID PIMPLE on HER TOUNGE !!!!
 

I CANT BELIEVE THIS. she ACTUALLY LIKES CHIAH CHYI. i mean, its not wrong to like someone, but it all came really unexpectedly. i mean, how often can u stroll across this gurl, who admires him like he is GOD and well. i dont know. its really weird. how the whole scenario went. i actually didnt know. i saw her bottle was quite nice, cute, then underneath it was full of the initialls TCC. i was like, you like this guy? she went like, you guess. i tot it was ching chek at firstt another TCC. but its a guy. so i went like, chiah chyi? she just smiled at me. i’ll take that as a YES. and i heard her talking to her friends, because tcc, hw and dc were at the canteen after thier pjk, buying drinks, then she went berserk. she told her group of friends about cc walking pass, how was her feelings, her goddamned nerve system was WRECKED. i still cant believe this. a close friend. crushing on her friend’s crushe’s best friend.

ohwell. i will not tell who that certain person is dearie, i would never.

next. aiyan’s life today…

i so forgot that siti, farhan and amirul was puasa-ing. i ATE in front of them, which made me a little rude, since they’re fasting and i’m munching a tart. apologised what seemed like thousand times. then in the scinece lab, the teacher came really late and the guys were watching the higher formers playing soccer. ji hao should really take on commentating thingy when he grows up. during the whole 2 period, he went like, pass it to dc pass it, and SCORE!!!. everyone just stared at him. duh. kontra weyh, kontra.

then after recess was all about studying and working. i got punked by yew tyan. he goes around picking on people like me., urgh ! if you’re reading this, stop being a big bully and stop picking on me !

there was this thing. when i saw amanda, she saw me from afr, and i saw her, and we ran to each other. dont know. a special connection between us. ahh

have you ever loved those times, when you can go to school, bringing a high hope of wondering, what would i do if i see my crush? what would i do?! what if he talks to me, what if what if and all those what if’s.

there are times, when a gurl, tender age, had high hopes on her crush. every so-called crush she has, her imaginations go wild, she goes thinking, if we were an item, where would we go, would he like talk about me with his friends? would he kiss me in the cheek after every date? will he hold me by my hand and say everything’s going to be alright when i’m down? there are so many things to imagine, wait. where was i?

yeah. at on stage, at one point, i loved going to school, to check him out. wondering tones of things and all stupid imaginary stuffs. that was when people didnt know that i like him, people didnt even think he excisted. when people dont konw you like him, you have no one to tell but ur dearest bloggie, which is u. so i spilled everything here. and that was such a wrong decision to make. as how kar wai puts it, oh-no-lo.

then when people started to know, god knows how, it started of fun. you actually can tell someone or some people about this certain guy, and then you share toughts. what you think about him and blah blah blah. we stayed back watching his every single moves and laughed at it. it was really a thought to remember.

when more people knew, even the mr.crush himself knew, it wasnt really that fun anymore. it started to get to a point where everyone teases you, wherever you go, they start to call you names. the worst i got was the tch thingy, the friends shouted things like : ch’s girlfriend and ch my love , i cant live without you and XXXXxXXxXX… it started to be a pain in the heart. wait. this is not the guy i like. wait. i’m talking about him. its suppose to be another guy. sorry.

yeah. the hw.i’m using initials. and u really must know why. that guy. everytime i walk near or pass the curry house, i hear whispers. ( OH GOD DAMNED THE TV. WHY MUST THEY AIR CHARSIEWFAN.)
it reminds me of him. somehow. bak to topic. they go comment about me, make fun of me. and even my mr.crush goes laughing at me with them. its so eergh.

and there’s this time when we confronted each other, which i will skip. because its not wroth telling

and as it seems, things gone wrong. and love turned to hate. which dont know why. and we avoided each other 24/7. so reluctantly, i just u know. forced myself to like this other guy. and u know what? the wrost scenario with hw, is, this guy ran the whole sttrech shouting my name and his, and people stared. embarresed. and hated it.

there are times, when you feel really down right? there are times when u feel really left out when your friends UNITTENTIONALLY ditched you and well, maybe you treat this certain someone as your best friend, but she has this another best friend and everytime when you really care about her, she cares more about her own best friend. i dont know why. the world is really liek that. countless times i’ve encounter people like this, they leave footsteps in my life. i remembered how much i used to sacrifice for a friend, but this friend has another friend and she doesnt reallly realise my appearance. actually.

what makes a friend? to me, aiyan, the whole philosophy thingy is, a friend is a true and a nice friend when they really help you really sincerly, a friend helps you go through those oh-so-tough times. wait. what if this certain friend is an oh-so-popular kid in school, and you’re just a no one? i’ve encounter that to. when i walk with her, she gets the hi’s and smiles and attention ffrom people. i would not be like so stupid and say that i’m not jealous. i am, really. you suddenly feel low coz she’s more popular than you and you have this i’m-not-worth-living thing coming to your mind.

what if, this friend of yours is an attention seeker? she goes around bragging about her results, for example… she got 46/50 for arts, which is heck good actually. and she wants you to like say things like oh, thats so good ! or oh! congratulations. and she will go like, teacher gave me so little marks, she gave this XXX more marks then me and a whole lot of bragging. then, her art folio gets 30/30. and she will go like, aiyan aiyan ! this type of work teacher also give me 30 ahh ! and i went like, oh. really. and she went like, anoh anoh. stupid right?? heck. i wanted to say, you are the stupid one.

OR WHAT IF

this friend, a specific person, has this super boyfriend who would do anything for her, a 24 hour setia dude friend and loves her so much.,but this gurl doesnt like him a lot . she loves anohter guy more. and all these while she has been playing with this poor little dude’s feeling. i mean, its so related to the unfaithful song of rihanna.

this is what aiyan goes through every single day in school. and she’s getting really fed up with it.

there are times, when you feel really down right? there are times when u feel really left out when your friends UNITTENTIONALLY ditched you and well, maybe you treat this certain someone as your best friend, but she has this another best friend and everytime when you really care about her, she cares more about her own best friend. i dont know why. the world is really liek that. countless times i’ve encounter people like this, they leave footsteps in my life. i remembered how much i used to sacrifice for a friend, but this friend has another friend and she doesnt reallly realise my appearance. actually.

what makes a friend? to me, aiyan, the whole philosophy thingy is, a friend is a true and a nice friend when they really help you really sincerly, a friend helps you go through those oh-so-tough times. wait. what if this certain friend is an oh-so-popular kid in school, and you’re just a no one? i’ve encounter that to. when i walk with her, she gets the hi’s and smiles and attention ffrom people. i would not be like so stupid and say that i’m not jealous. i am, really. you suddenly feel low coz she’s more popular than you and you have this i’m-not-worth-living thing coming to your mind.

what if, this friend of yours is an attention seeker? she goes around bragging about her results, for example… she got 46/50 for arts, which is heck good actually. and she wants you to like say things like oh, thats so good ! or oh! congratulations. and she will go like, teacher gave me so little marks, she gave this XXX more marks then me and a whole lot of bragging. then, her art folio gets 30/30. and she will go like, aiyan aiyan ! this type of work teacher also give me 30 ahh ! and i went like, oh. really. and she went like, anoh anoh. stupid right?? heck. i wanted to say, you are the stupid one.

OR WHAT IF

this friend, a specific person, has this super boyfriend who would do anything for her, a 24 hour setia dude friend and loves her so much.,but this gurl doesnt like him a lot . she loves anohter guy more. and all these while she has been playing with this poor little dude’s feeling. i mean, its so related to the unfaithful song of rihanna.

this is what aiyan goes through every single day in school. and she’s getting really fed up with it.

i cant believe it. its really shocking. to sit at the classroom there, and i just looked outside to see some people like having pjk, the a4′ers. then u know what? 10 minutes before the third bell rang, i saw some semi-nude people changing, it’s normal to like u know, be half naked, but they just took of their pjk shorts u know. and changed THERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF MUA. and i went like, are they taking thier pants of and stuff . its SO WEIRD seeing their legs. and its not the a4 people u know, ITS A SUPER DUPER WHEELIUPER DUDE WHOM PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK I LIKE. peace.

peace. joel is currently like QUESTIONING ME about sejarah. oh gosh i love him.

and during recess, siti went up to give shanlee food. not like he’s her dog, or anything. dont get me wrong. but, i walked up the stairs alone right, then i felt this huge thud above my head. then i walked, then i saw chiah chyi running and i went like, heck. damn him. then at the back was the ex-guy-or-ex-prince-of-aiyan running at the back of him. so malu weyhx. then i tot siti would be like at the urhm statue there, then they werent. so i went up to the block, then chiah chyi and ex-guy-or-ex-prince-of-aiyan came running up with his bag, so i assumed that his bag was thrown down buy some unknown dude. then chiah chyi saw me, and he went screaming hao wei and aiyan all the way as he ran. that was so juvenile. it was humiliating. sigh,

and well, today, the stupid god damned mahts teacher wanted to take the photostated notes, but the god damned aunty there didnt want to give me tthose notes because i didnt pay up. so i had to run all over school to search for her. walked like the whole form 5 siction, and still didnt find her. i asked siti to like walk to p1 and check whether she was there, coz i dont like walking pass p2, and heck i made the wrong decision. i was waiting outside p3, some guy, i think he’s name is yong tat from p2, turned his head out, he saw me, then he just ran in. there was no exaggeration in that. u could hear the tables and chairs like squeking? and then this guy came out and looked at me and so did another like someone was filming there.

and i had to stapler and give out every god damned maths trials paper. tired.

lol. u know what, one day if i die, and its because of all those love problems and stuff, dont blame me, blame ding chao =]. he was the one hu suggested it. sigh. dont konw why.

skipping school tomorrow to tien yi’s house. hope i can get some guy to teman me pass taman jaya.. but she says she’s not feelling well now. hope she gets better.