aiyan downright.

my heart is really cold. not cold cold , as in really cold. my
hands are apparently freezing and I’m having this stupid fever. what did I do
today huh. it was trials, but this day, I didn’t like study anything at all. it
was Chinese and English. hell. who needs to study both of these subjects. for Chinese
I wrote this really stupid essay which me myself find it had to believe that I actually
wrote that piece of crap. and not to say that I am proud of it actually.

I’m getting over him. focusing on studies and just kicking him
out of my god damned mind. kick him ! that dude is so not worth your wait. go
aiyan !

and its four more hours till national day. hooray ! eesh. that’s
so not me. I don’t really anticipate in national day celebrations, but ohwell.
there’s always a first time. and you know what? those form 5vers actually get
to SKIP school and stay at home to study for their upcoming trials. that’s so
not fair. one week before PMR, I’m going to skip school. whee.

I didn’t actually had that talk with chun hoe.. I mean, my heart
was ALL READY and everything I wanted to talk to was just perfect. but he had
the stupid 10^th period. so I couldn’t actually talk to him. its
funny how things go huh. when you made up your mind to actually set a foot to
do something, there’s always an obstacle.

I cant stop thinking about him. its like, everytime I go to
school, I want to stop looking for him or at him, but this feel is just like
natural and I cant do anything to stop it. yeah, me and him agreed that we
would just like forget about the thingy and be friends, go on with lives.

I tried
you know,everytime when I see you at school, my heart just flinches. not only
seeing you, seeing your best buddies too make me sick. and I’ve been avoiding
you like hell

 
didn’t you get the tip when me and my friends stop visiting the
curry house?

 
didn’t you get the tip when I started to like hang out more with
other people just to get you off my god damned mind?

 
didn’t you notice that I had already stop looking at your msn
nick, and apparently blocked you?

 
and most of all, didn’t you notice that I had already started
talking to you nowadays? let me tell you.

 
I told myself that I would like walk up to you and say hi when I
am ready and when I can totally just let you go. but face the fact hao wei, I just
cant.  

today,woke up really late, I’m so not used to wake up at 6 in
the morning.which is torture. gosh. how could they. well, on the way to school
was the mom-give-aiyan talk, toking about stuffs and nagging and stuffs. the
usual. that’s what I get everyday in school and I’m getting used to it. thank
god.

arrived school like late, and didn’t really felt like talking to
anyone so I just studied the novel thingy, and well, I think I did OK in the
malay paper., and I wrote about the golden jubilee thingy. 3 whole pages about
it, and man, my hand was FREAKIN TIRED. stupid essays. I got back my English
paper marks, 37. whee. siti got 36 and john 35. wakaka.

during recess, I so wanted to like sit in the reading corner and
read up geography, but those lower formers were like hogging every single table
in it so I had no choice but to join siti for recess at the canteen. sigh. BUT
I saw someone and that someone just brightened up my whole day. and I found out
something. which was after I saw yew tyan’s ass.the dude is assless ! really.
he’s pants doesn’t have anything under it. unlike ooi zhe ang, and some other
peeps. gosh. and since then me and siti went around calling people ass-less
dude and they just looked and felt confused. ahah. padan muka.

the malay 1 test after recess was ok, I mean, the grammer was
hell hard, as always, and after finishing it, I wanted to like have a shut eye,
when I woke up in the middle of them exam, almost the whole class was sleeping
their way through. like duh. everyone is so tired and beat. they should have
sleeping classes like japan, 1 hour sleep everyday counted in school time
table. hehe.

after school was like ok, met up with shanlee at the round table
and walked out. they were like so cute together and I’m being 3000V . left them
after the bus stop and went to 711, and on the way there, dingy called me and I
went like yeah? and he pointed to cc and went like, he wants to talk to you,
which ended up in silence since I didn’t know what to say. and I just walked in
there. its just the same scenario all over again, except it wasn’t cc pointing
to hw, its dc pointing to cc, honestly, his friends are so weird.

I’m not like Jamie, I don’t know who I’m going to marry, I
haven’t plan what name to name my kids, I don’t know what’s my wedding gown
going to look like, I don’t know what song am I going to play in my wedding,
and I don’t know where to have the wedding. oh goodness. I’m just me.

p/s. I just finished studying 2 years worth of science. bless me
for tomorrow. need luck. and by the way. I’m running out of bullets. if u know
what I mean, the tembak-ing. hehe.

© aiyan.

might as
well update my blog since I’m free. today, been studying geography, since its
like the 3^rd paper but on Monday. decieded that malay needs no
studying since you wouldn’t know what would come out. going quite well. no
nagging from parents since its my own will to study. which is kinda
hard-to-get.

I wanted
to edit my prof to all those u know, cute cute thingy, where everyone types
gibberish, u know, those nehhx and bluekx thingy . ahha. then I found out that
was SO NOT me so I just like type a normal and simple thingy. which I hope
satisfies people. and I’m choosing a new profile layout. a one which stands out
lah. this one is like so dark and so un-aiyan-ish.

those
lower formers are SO GOOD. they can just go shopping and go get a drink at
starbucks. and while the form fivers, sixers and three-ers are studying like
SHIT for the god-damned trials. which is important in a way. since for us form
3’s we need to get good grades in trials to get into the science stream. they
so don’t care bout how many a’s u scrape in PMR since trials are WAY HARDER
then pmr. as so I heard. but don’t know whether its true. god, u cant define
what is true nowadays.

and those
form 5’s can still like have some space to breath, I cant ! everynow and then I
wonder where did the time disappear to. everything’s like so totally last
minute. and I’m reading up all the form 1-3 notes in 3 hours. and mind you, I
did get to study that in 3 whole years, but hell.

I’m still
thinking of a way to face school on Monday morning. whether to study the god
damned panas salju or to read up and brush up geo. since I failed geo. not to
say fail lah, but 50 smthn is way bad already. on the other hand, besides
studies, I cant face people. people are being so urhm don’t-talk-to-me
coz-im-studying-for-PMR-which-i-see-you-don’t-give-a damn look when you talk to
them .

and I’m
kidna n a dilemma thingy whether to like register with a friend for the annual
, wait, not annual actually, for the once-in-50-years concert. which I hope
will be nice. classy and stuffs.

so what if i dont have branded stuffs and all those oh-so-expensive stuffs. u mean, u dont want to be friends with me coz of not having these thingy? come on, why are some people so self centered and stuffs. they want to be the miss popular in school and they get all tagged with the so called popular bunch while ditching their so called friends in class. come on. get a life lahx.

having to walk in the rain at

5pm

in the afternoon is so not the thing to do nowadays. you end up having a fever
and you feel tired and not to study for trials thing. and well, I’ve been on a
6 hour tuition today and I’m just SO TIRED. imagining having the same teachers
and well, they don’t talk about the same stuffs, so yeah. I’m bored and I practically
LIVE at home, I mean, as a non thingy.. u wont get to know what I mean, I cant
seam to like get a grip of my life so yeah.

its amazing how people can tend to take life so positively and
look at the bright side, they can just forget about your faults in a wink of an
eye and forgive you and be friends. but there are some who are just you know, a
bunch of fakers.

aiyan loves gossip girls

it’s a
Tuesday. to be frank, it’s the most boring holidays now that I’m having. I have
absolutely nothing to do, except the whole studying for trials thingy. and
well, today, I got my hair cut and the stupid hairdresser didn’t cut to my
needs. its like so freakin short, the fringe I mean, and I have to like clip it
up to avoid embarrassment. and I have like 5 more days to make it grow to
eyebrow length. sigh.

and to
make things worst, I’m currently having this fever and I’m being positive,
saying that its better to have it now than PMR and I really hope adele didn’t
like transfer her chicken pox to me, I belum grow chicken pox lagi >M<.

friendster
blog, what can I say, should I delete you and go to a xanga or blogspot? since
the day I know that friendster actually send mails to people in my list when I
update it, I’m having doubts to like update it anymores. but whatever. I’ll
just continue, its not like I have anything else better to do.

and tien
yi, I really pity your mom, had to wake up like so early just for the sake of
fetching you to school for a god-knows-what extra class. everyone’s having
extra class and only my teacher, pn choo says that : saya sudah habis ajar,
kamu semua siap sendiri. I mean like, yeah, she finished the god damned
syllabus. haha.

I have to
go FISHING. F-I-S-H-I-N-G. haha. for those who doesn’t know what the hell
fishing means, its like, fish for hotties. winkie. I cant fish at home, the
only dude at home is my daddy and I wont like wana fish him. ahha. I cant stop
crapping. and yeah, Johnny depp won the best thingy in the kids choice awards.,
he’s so cool. in a pirate way. savvy?

and I
don’t know why everyone in

Malaysia

keeps talking about the
siti-nurhaliza and datuk k thingy. its just a stupid marriage of two people who
loves each other.

I’m so
bored. here are the so called mui’s bah. its going to take forever.

firstly
the smaller ones.

nen lin :
shes ok lah, sometimes when I need her shes there, so yeah
Samantha :
I only can say how much I miss her.
shih xuan
: she’s ok, but paranoid . always that scared.
chee kuan
: the gal who knows me most nowadays.
rou ying:
not exactly a close friend, but yeah
klothilda
: squashy ! winkie.
hwee ling
: pweeety.
fang leng
: lost contact. she changed school. miss her so much =p.
yee jeat
: pretty, runner, ok studies.
alysson :
shes gone. to aussie. sniff.
caroleen
: sweet as she can be, smart too. unlike me =[.
su ling :
don’t tok much with her nowadays.
hwei mein
: her brother is hawt, that’s all I can say. winks
chong hui
: the cute mouse wakakaka. another gal hu has a hot bro =p/
ka poh :
well. not close, but she’s nice.
hooi yin
: the hamster freak.
xin tian
: sweet as an angel actually. not close also .=p
julien :
form 3 gal gal who is so hot !

and now
the older ones.

Jamie lee
: that’s one. she’s a hot chick and I love her.
Sue Lie :
rabbit ! winkies !
Muii Yee
: leng ah jies
Jyh Ling
: another one. she’s sweet and nice. popular gal.
Elyse Kym
: my longest and most treasured friend =D

I don’t
know lah, I feel like you know, canceling some since some of them I barely know
them and stuffs.. the problem is who to cancel

ok, so now i’m just taking a little break after studying for like waht? 3 hours. yeah. so , my life is ok right now, everythings going kinda ok as a matter of a fact, and i can just scream out that trials is going to suck. as alwyas. i wonder why the goverment set this stupid exam. its just giving US STUDENTS the tension and it kills. and there’s no more play and all study. and and and, the trials are WAY HARDER then PMR but PMR is MORE IMPORTANT but trials DETERMINE WHAT STREAM u go next year, its ironic in a way. to whoever who created this examination, dont let me find you, or you’ll be SO DEAD. i swear.

and well, now both my parents are out so i can just go unlimited online. whee! and well, i dont know what to type. so here goes.

what actually are siblings? are they people who are always there for you whenever u fall? i myself DONT HAVE any excatly, i’m the only dude, which is bad in some ways. and i have like tonnes of kai-siblings which i dont know, they just come to me and say can you be my jie or smthn and now i’ve lost count. but i can remember the ah-gors lah. winkie.

joel - a dude who is alwyas there when i need someone and the one i appreciate most !
zhen han - one whom i’ve never seen in actual life, but cares for me too
khee xiong- one whom owe me past year pmr questions
hao wei - obsession
sheng zu - lion dance freako
victor - rapper
beh rong cheng- a dude whom i owe all my credits to. ( the photo. !! )
marcus yap - a dude who is ALWAYS broke. and i mean alwyas as in ALWAYS.

i love them all. winks.

ok, so now i’m just taking a little break after studying for like waht? 3 hours. yeah. so , my life is ok right now, everythings going kinda ok as a matter of a fact, and i can just scream out that trials is going to suck. as alwyas. i wonder why the goverment set this stupid exam. its just giving US STUDENTS the tension and it kills. and there’s no more play and all study. and and and, the trials are WAY HARDER then PMR but PMR is MORE IMPORTANT but trials DETERMINE WHAT STREAM u go next year, its ironic in a way. to whoever who created this examination, dont let me find you, or you’ll be SO DEAD. i swear.

and well, now both my parents are out so i can just go unlimited online. whee! and well, i dont know what to type. so here goes.

what actually are siblings? are they people who are always there for you whenever u fall? i myself DONT HAVE any excatly, i’m the only dude, which is bad in some ways. and i have like tonnes of kai-siblings which i dont know, they just come to me and say can you be my jie or smthn and now i’ve lost count. but i can remember the ah-gors lah. winkie.

joel - a dude who is alwyas there when i need someone and the one i appreciate most !
zhen han - one whom i’ve never seen in actual life, but cares for me too
khee xiong- one whom owe me past year pmr questions
hao wei - obsession
sheng zu - lion dance freako
victor - rapper
beh rong cheng- a dude whom i owe all my credits to. ( the photo. !! )
marcus yap - a dude who is ALWAYS broke. and i mean alwyas as in ALWAYS.

i love them all. winks.